A new life
by Metallic efekt
Summary: Okay, this is my first story ever so I hope that it doesn’t totally suck. It was supposed to be a one shot but it turned out to be a little longer than expected so I made it a short story. Pairing:RenIchi. Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is my first story ever so I hope that it doesn't totally suck. It was supposed to be a one shot but it turned out to be a little longer than expected so I made it a two shot. The story takes place one year after the winter war has ended.**

**Pairing: Renji/Ichigo**

**Warnings (if that's what ya want to call 'em): past character death, attempted suicide and maybe some smut and fluff in the second part.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own bleach just the plot in this fic.**

**Ichigo's P.O.V**

_**Dream~**_

"_Please don't. Let her go. She hasn__'t got anything to do with this" he whispered as he watched Aizen lift his sword to her throat. Aizen had already killed his other sister, his father and many of his comrades during the war and now he was going to kill his other sister too._

"_Please don't__" he begged but Aizen just laughed and cut her throat and let her fall to the floor of Las Noches._

"_NOOO! YUZU!" he screamed._

_**~Dream end~**_

Kurosaki Ichigo woke up to a familiar dream once again. He had the same nightmares ever since the war ended a year ago and they didn't seem to be going away at all.

"Why won't they go away?" he mumbled to himself. He was now 19 and he lived in a small flat alone. He went to college but mostly he spent his time alone at home listening to music or watching TV. After the war he had somehow ended up pushing all his friends away. They had tried to talk to him but when they didn't get a response from him they had stopped trying. Inoue had been the last one to go but before she left him alone she had said that he could come and talk to her if he changed his mind. Sure he greeted them at school and if he saw them in the street but he never hung out with them anymore.

His shinigami-friends on the other hand hadn't even stayed in touch but then again he thought that maybe they were just busy rebuilding Soul Society and actually he wasn't even sure if he wanted to see them either.

But sometimes he couldn't stop himself from wondering what they were doing especially what Renji was doing because Renji had been the one to carry him out of Las Noches after he had killed Aizen and ended the war with that

*Knock knock*

Ichigo turned his head towards the sound. It came from the window.

'Wonder what it is', he thought. He remembered very well that only the shinigami used to come in through his bedroom window but since there weren't any trees close to his window and he highly doubted that a bird would be pecking at it either so he got up and opened the window. And in jumped no one else than…

"R-Renji?" Ichigo stuttered.

"Yep. The one and only" Renji answered with his usual grin plastered on his face. "Did ya miss me?" he asked still grinning.

"What are you doing here and how did you know where I live?"

"What? Can't I come ´n´ see how an old friend of mine is doing? And I followed your reiatsu of course. First when I arrived from Soul Society I couldn't locate it but then after a while I suddenly felt it. I must say yer control has improved a lot."

"Thanks but what do you really want?" Ichigo asked a little suspicious.

"You don't believe me?"

"Nope. Now spit it out before I kick you out again."

"Okay, okay. No need to get pissed. First, I really came to see how you were doing."

"Oh? And secondly?"

"I was wondering if I could crash here during my stay here."

"Why don't you just go to Urahara's?"

"I'm tired of him always calling me "freeloader-san" all the time. So can I stay?"

Ichigo looked at him for a while and sighed "You can stay for tonight but I dunno about the rest of your stay. I'll think about it tomorrow" he said as he walked back to his bed and lied down.

"Thanks man…..Ano, Ichigo?" Renji asked.

"What?" came an annoyed reply from the bed.

"Where am I going to sleep?"

"There's a spare futon and blankets in the closet. Take what you need from there." Ichigo said without even looking up.

"Okay. G'night."

"Hmmm…"

**Renji's P.O.V****.**

'This is weird. He actually let me stay. I was expecting at least an argument about it.' Renji thought while he took out the futon and a blanket from the closet. 'Maybe he has changed after I last saw him or maybe something's wrong with him. Maybe I should ask him about it tomorrow. Nah, then he'll never let me stay here during my leave. I'll probably have to ask his friends if I want to know something about Ichigo' he thought and lied down on the futon and pulled the blanket over himself.

After a moment of listening to Ichigo breathe calmly Renji started to think about how he had found Ichigo from the ruins of Las Noches. Ichigo had been covered in blood, his shihakusho almost thorn to shreds and he was crying next to his sisters body. Aizen had been lying dead a little further away, his body covered in injuries caused by Ichigo going all out with his hollow on him. Renji had run to Ichigo to check if he was okay but Ichigo had just pushed him away until some other shinigami had come and carried his sister's body out of there. After that he had let Renji pick him up and carry him out of there. While they had walked Ichigo had been clutching his shihakusho and crying until he couldn't anymore and by the time they got to the gate to Soul Society he had been only sobbing in his sleep. He had carried Ichigo to Unohana-taicho but when he tried to put him down Ichigo had refused to let go and mumbled 'don't leave me'. Renji had looked at Unohana-taicho and she had just smiled and nodded that it was okay for him to stay there while she healed the sleeping teenager.

Renji was pulled back to reality by a soft whimper coming from Ichigo. The said teenager was whimpering and tossing and turning like he was in pain and to Renji it seemed like he was having a nightmare and he was just about to get up and wake Ichigo when he stopped moving an became peaceful again.

'He's still havin' nightmares about the war, huh. Maybe I really have to ask his friends how he's been doing lately 'couse I know he's too damn stubborn to admit if he has problems whit somethin'' Renji thought and closed his eyes and soon after that he fell asleep. He didn't notice that Ichigo woke several times that night to different nightmares.

**~Next morning ~ Ichigo's P.O.V.**

Ichigo woke up with a groan. He had slept more than usually but that didn't mean that he had slept well which he certainly hadn't. Dreams about his family dying and friends getting hurt had bugged him like they had for the past year and prevented him from sleeping properly. And on top of that he had a terrible headache.

"Damn it", he mumbled and sat up. Then he noticed the redhead sleeping on the floor and for a moment he thought 'what's he doing here?' but then the memories from last night returned.

"That's right. I promised to think about letting him stay here during his leave", he said to himself while got up and dressed. After that he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face and it didn't take long before he was back in his room gathering and stuffing his books into his bag. Few minutes later he was standing in the doorway looking at Renji who was still sleeping peacefully. 'I wish I could sleep without disturbances like Renji ', Ichigo thought and walked out of his flat locking the door behind him.

While walking to school Ichigo was still deep in thought and that was proved by him almost getting hit by car three times during the not so long way to school. He thought about what he was going to do at lunch, after school and if he was going to let Renji stay at his place even though he already knew the answers to all those questions. At lunch he was going to sit in the art class and draw something, after school he was going to drop his stuff at his place, change clothes and go to work and then go out drinking like he did every weekend. And he was going to let Renji stay at least for now. Why? He didn't know. Maybe he had missed the redhead.

**Renji's P.O.V.**

Renji woke up a few hours later after Ichigo had left. He yawned and stretched a little before relaxing again. 'Wonder what time it is? Ichigo's not here so guess it's already kinda late. Should probably get up', he thought and sat up. After getting dressed he walked in to Ichigo's kitchen to look for something to eat but even after looking trough every cupboard he didn't find anything but some noodles and a frozen pizza in the freezer.

"Doesn't the kid eat anything?" he said out loud even though he knew he was alone. So instead of eating he started to look around in the small flat. Everything seemed to be as simple as possible, there was nothing unnecessary like plants or pictures on the walls. Renji walked back to Ichigo's bedroom. It was almost as plain as the rest of the flat. The sheets in the bed were black but there was a bookshelf crammed with books and a desk covered in papers and different kinds of pencils. 'Probably school work' Renji thought but decided to take a look anyway. But when he walked over to the desk he saw that they weren't school work but drawings, some in colour some in different shades of grey.

"Wow, I didn't know that Ichigo could draw so well" he said as he looked through the drawings. The drawings were of different objects: landscapes (there were pictures of the view from Ichigo's window at different times both in colour and in shades of grey), random people walking on the street, bowls with fruits, Zangetsu both as a sword and in his materialized form and other various things. But it was the last picture that caught Renji's attention. He found himself staring at a drawing of him and Rukia smiling under a sakura tree with petals falling around them.

"Amazing. Every detail is perfect" he mumbled and traced the picture with a finger. 'When did he draw this?' he thought and turned the paper around to look at the backside. It said "spring before the war". "I see. So that's what he was doing back then."

*BEEP BEEP*

Renji was pulled out of his thoughts when his communicator started beeping. H flipped it open and read the message:

"_Freeloader-san, your gigai is ready __to be picked up at Urahara shoten anytime you need it."_

_Urahara Kisuke_

"Stupid Urahara" Renji mumbled as he sent his reply:

"_Arigato Urahara-san. I'll be there soon."_

_Abarai Renji_

*Sigh* "Maybe I should get going then" he said and checked what time it was. The alarm clock on Ichigo's nightstand showed 11.30. "Yep, definitely time to go." But before leaving through the window he stuffed the pictures inside his shihakusho. He was going to ask Urahara where he could find Inoue and the rest of Ichigo's friends (and maybe Ichigo himself) and them about the drawings and Ichigo.

After a few minutes of jumping from rooftop to another he reached Urahara shoten and walked in.

"Hello? Urahara-san? I came ta pick up my gigai."

"Aaah. Abarai-san, I was expecting you yesterday. Did you get in trouble on the way here?" said the blond shopkeeper who had appeared from a backroom. He was wearing his usual striped hat and holding a fan in front of his face. The ex-captain didn't seem to have changed one bit.

"Nah. I spent the night at Ichigo's place."

"At Kurosaki-san's place? How is he doing these days?"

"What? You mean you haven't seen him?"

"Correct. I saw him a couple of times right after he got back from Soul Society but after that I haven't seen him. So, how is he?"

"I'm not sure. He was acting a little strange yesterday when I arrived. He let me stay there without even an argument but I dunno if it was because he was tired or because of something more serious. His control over his reiatsu has also improved a whole lot. Apparently he can suppress it completely but sometimes his control slips, I think it happens if he's stressed, scared or annoyed."

"How do you know that?"

"Ichigo had a nightmare last night and then his reiatsu spiked a little ´n´ I think that's what happened when I first arrived from Soul Society. First I couldn't feel it at all ´n´ then I suddenly could, maybe he had another nightmare before I came because he was awake when I arrived there."

"You seem to have analyzed this already, Abarai-san. You think the nightmares might be about the war?"

"Dunno. Maybe. After all, he lost his whole family."

"My, my. You have been observant, haven't you? Maybe you should try and talk to him even though he'll probably say that everything's alright, the stubborn person he is."

"Shut up. That's why I came here besides ta get my gigai. Ya wouldn't happen to know where to find Ichigo ´n´ his friends?"

"I'm pretty sure that their lunch break starts in about 15 minutes. Inoue-san mentioned once that they usually eat at the school rooftop. They all go to the same school but they take different classes. Ishida-san is studying to become a doctor, Inoue-san studies to become a nurse I think and I believe that Sado-san studies have something to do with music."

"What about Ichigo?"

"I'm not sure but I've heard rumors that he'd be majoring in art but somehow I find it hard to believe that Kurosaki-san would be an arty person."

"No, it might be true. Look at these. They're from Ichigo's room" Renji said and pulled the stack of drawings from his shihakusho and handed them to Urahara. While Urahara was looking through them he got into his gigai in the other room and after that he walked back to the front of the shop.

"Well?" he asked.

"It seems like Kurosaki-san has been hiding hi talent from us for a very long time" Urahara said and handed back the papers. "Especially the last one was really good."

"Can ya tell me where the school is?"

"Just follow Inoue-san's reiatsu and you should find it. By the way, are you going to stay at Kurosaki-san's place for the rest of your leave?"

"I dunno yet. Ichigo said he was gonna think about it so I gotta find him and ask about it."

"In case he refuses you're always welcome here Freeloader-san."

"Shut up ´n´ thanks for the gigai. See ya around" Renji said and walked out of the small shop. When outside he started to scan the town for Inoue Orihime's reiatsu. It didn't take long to locate it since she tried to hide herself unless it was necessary. He started to run towards it so he would make it before their lunch break ended.

**~10 minutes later~**

Renji was walking up the stairs to the school rooftop. It had been easy to find the school and only a little harder to find the way to the roof through the school corridors. His looks had earned him lots of looks from the students but he just ignored them. He reached the top of the stairs and stepped out through the door.

"Abarai-kun! It's nice to see you again. How have you been? What are you doing here? Are you on a mission? When …" Orihime started blabbering as she saw him and run to him to hug him.

"Calm down Orihime-chan. It's nice ta see ya too. Besides lots of work I've been fine but now I'm on leave for the next three months. Now can ya let go of me, can't breathe."

"Oh, sorry." She said and let go. "But why did you come here on your leave? Not that we don't want you here but … I mean …" she said waved her hands in front of her.

"Ya mean why I came here instead of staying in Soul Society?"

"Yes that's what I meant."

"Came ta see Ichigo. And you guys of course. By the way where's Ichigo?"

Orihime's smile faded.

"He's probably in the art class like always." Ishida said. "He doesn't eat with us anymore; actually I'm not sure he eats at all. I've heard rumours that he just sits and draws something during the breaks but I haven't seen it myself."

"Neither have I." Chad said. "And I don't think anyone of us has seen his works so we don't know how good he is.

"He's really good." Renji said.

"How do you know?" Orihime asked.

"Look for your selves" he said and handed the stack of pictures to her. "I stayed at his place last night ´n´ found these on his desk."

"Wow, these are amazing. Look Sado-kun, Ishida-kun, it's a picture of Kuchiki-san and Abarai-kun."

"Hate to admit it but seems like Kurosaki is really good at this. Maybe he actually had a good reason to stop hanging out with us." Ishida stated.

"Wait a minute. He doesn't hang out with you anymore? Why?"

"We don't know." Chad said. "After the war he sold the clinic, moved to a small flat somewhere and stopped talking to people any more than necessary. From what I've heard he speaks only if being spoken to. He's just not the same Ichigo we used to know."

"I see he really has changed. Gotta talk ta him later. Any idea where ta find him after school?"

*RIIING*

"Oh, we have to go now. Sorry but I don't know where to find Kurosaki-kun for sure but maybe you should try the art class or his place. I think he gets off earlier than we do" Orihime said apologetically. "Can we talk some more after school?"

"Sure. I'll meet ya outside when ya get off. At what time?"

"At four o'clock. See you then" Orihime chirped and waved as she ran down the hall.

Renji stayed on the roof for a while before deciding to go back to Ichigo's flat.

**Ichigo's P.O.V.**

Ichigo was sitting alone in the art class during the lunch break. All other students were somewhere outside eating while inside drawing since he didn't eat at school anymore. Actually he didn't eat much outside school either because he simply hadn't felt like eating a lot after the war.

Ichigo sighed and straightened up a little in his chair. He put his pencil down after adding the finishing touches to the picture of a bouquet of flowers lying in front of him.

"Flowers. How girly." he said to himself even though he didn't really care. He took his things and left for his next class. After that he was going to go home, change clothes and go to work in the library for a few hours. Then it was time to drinking and get totally wasted once again. "Can't wait until then," he mumbled as he walked through the hallways.

He arrived to his classroom and sat down for another boring class.

**Renji's P.O.V.**

"Damn it! How hard can it be to find a damn flat?"

Renji was currently extremely annoyed because he couldn't find Ichigo's flat. He knew how to match a person with a place based on the spiritual signature but this was somehow harder because Ichigo had learned to suppress his reiatsu completely but there were some places where his control had slipped and left a trace. He had already been to two places and was now on his way to the third when his communicator started beeping.

"Damn hollows! Why do they always pop up when you least need them," he said frustrated about the new problem but took out his gikongan anyway and popped one into his mouth.

"Stay here" he said to the soul now habiting his gigai and ran of to mind the hollow that had appeared.

"Yes master" the soul answered and sat down on a bench to take a nap because it was a really lazy soul that pretty much always slept when it had to wait for Renji to come back.

Renji jumped from rooftop to rooftop until he saw an ugly hollow sitting on the roof of a building up ahead.

"Well aren't ya an ugly one? I'm gonna make ya regret that ya ever decided to show up here. HOWL ZABIMARU!" Renji shouted as he jumped towards the hollow and released his zanpankuto. But to his surprise the hollow dodged by spreading its wings and flying a little higher up.

"HAHAA! Did you think you could defeat me that easily, little shinigami?" it cackled. "That's why you always get killed by us, because you underestimate us."

"Ya think yer better than me because ya dodged one blow? Think again ´cause there's no freakin´ way that I'm gonna lose ta a filthy hollow like ya!" Renji shot back and started a new attack.

**~about 45 minutes later~**

Renji was still trying to dispose of the hollow because it had shown to be a little harder than he thought since the hollow could fly. It stayed out of his range and shot some kind of acid from its mouth at him so he had to dodge.

"Damn it" Renji growled. He was now extremely annoyed and had run out of ideas of how to kill the annoying thing flying above him a long time ago. Then it hit him. A grin spread across his face as he put his plan into action.

"HOWL ZABIMARU" he commanded and Zabimaru extended once again.

"HAHAHAAA! Haven't I told you already that that won't work on me, little shinigami" the hollow cackled and turned around to look after the tip of Zabimaru.

"Destructive art 31: Shakkahou!" The hollow turned around but too late. The spell had hit it square in the face between its eyes.

"NOOOOO! This can't be happening" it shrieked while Renji just smirked at it.

"Told ya I would defeat ya. Now I gotta go an' continue with what I was doin' before ya so rudely interrupted me. Bye bye." And with that he shunpoed back to his gigai.

**~a few minutes later~**

Renji was standing in front of an apartment block that he recognized as Ichigo's. He walked to the backside, scanned the wall for Ichigo's bedroom window and when he found it he got out of his gigai and jumped up look for Ichigo. Soon he noticed that Ichigo wasn't at home and it was almost 4 o'clock so he had to go. When he returned to the bedroom he saw a piece of paper taped onto the window that he had missed on the way in. He took it and read it:

_Renji,_

_You can stay here at least for now. I'll be home late so don't bother waiting. There's a spare key on the table so you don't have to use the window with your gigai but don't lose it._

_Ichigo_

'Okay, now he's creeping me out. He's lettin' me stay without even a fight. Something's definitely wrong with him. Gotta talk ta him when he gets back no mater how late it is. But now I gotta go an´ see the others' he thought and jumped out after he had taken the key from the table.

**Ichigo's P.O.V.**

Ichigo was standing between two shelves in the library organizing books. Yes, he worked in a library and he knew that if Renji found out he would probably laugh his ass off but he liked the peaceful atmosphere there and the fact that very few people knew him there and because very few of his friends went to the library since their college had one of its own.

He had been working for four hours now, organizing books and helping people find what they were looking for, and in an hour he would be free to go.

**~about an hour later~**

After a short walk from the library Ichigo was standing outside a small bar he usually went to every weekend. He stared at the blinking sign on the roof for a while and sighed and walked in. When inside he sat down on his usual place in a corner and ordered a drink which was going to be the first of the many he would be having this night.

**~sometime later that evening~ Renji's P.O.V**

Renji stepped in through the door to Ichigo's flat and tried to be quiet since it was almost 2AM and he didn't want to wake the neighbors. He saw Ichigo's shoes on the floor so he guessed that he was home and the lights were on he was probably awake too. Renji walked to the kitchen but no one was there so he went to the bedroom but no one was there either so he went back to the living room from where one could go to all the other rooms. He stood still and listened for any sounds from the rooms and after a while he heard something from the bathroom. He walked to the door and listened again. What he heard surprised him big time. Ichigo was sobbing quietly which was kinda unnerving since Ichigo wasn't the kind of person who cried often. 'He must be really hurt mentally if he's crying and has pushed all his friends away' Renji thought and decided to knock and see if Ichigo was okay.

"Ichigo? Ichigo are ya okay?" he asked carefully.

"G-go away R-Renji. Leave m-me alone, I-I'm f-fine" came the muffled reply from behind the door.

"Ya don't sound too good ta me an' besides, I wanna talk ta ya so I'm breakin' this door now if ya don't open it now."

"N-no you won't. I'm f-fine so go away already. We can talk later."

"That's it. I'm coming in now 'cause yer _not_ okay an' we need ta talk _now._" And with that Renji kicked the door open. The sight that greeted him inside wasn't pretty.

"Ichigo!"

Thanx for reading. Hope ya liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Thanks for waiting; I was a little busy at school so it took longer than expected to post this and on top of that I lied about this being a two shot, it's gonna be a tree chapter story. I'll try to update as soon as possible.**

**Okay, here's part two. Enjoy.**

"Ichigo!" Renji said and stared at Ichigo for a moment before rushing to him.

Ichigo was sitting on the floor in the shower with a bloody knife in his hand and a cut up wrist. Luckily he had only cut one but Renji was sure that if he had been a little later Ichigo would have cut the other too.

"Baka! What are ya doing? Ya trying ta kill yourself or something?" Renji questioned and bent down to take the bleeding wrist in his hand but to his surprise Ichigo snatched it away and backed into a corner.

"Ichigo what…? Why won't ya let me help?"

"I d-don't want h-help. I w-wanna die. M-my life isn't worth l-living anymore."

"What do ya mean 'not worth living'?" Renji asked.

"I don't hav…" When Ichigo was about to answer he suddenly passed out due to blood loss and Renji saw his chance. He grabbed the injured wrist and preformed a healing technique. 'Good thing I decided to improve my kido skills after the war' he thought as he healed the cut. After healing it he washed the blood away from it and carried Ichigo to his bedroom and changed him into some clean clothes and laid him down on the bed. Next he headed back to the bathroom and washed the blood from the floor, took the knife back to the kitchen and washed it too. Then he went back to Ichigo's bedroom.

Ichigo was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands. When Renji stepped into the room he looked up with a broken look in his eyes.

"Why did you save me?" he asked with a hoarse voice.

"'Cause I don't want ya ta die, why else?" Renji answered and walked up to him.

"It's not your decision whether I die or not! I wanted to die, damn it!" Ichigo shouted and stood up.

"Why did you wanna die? Does your life really suck that much!" Renji shouted back.

"In fact it does, not that it's any of your business!" Ichigo shouted and grabbed the front of Renji's shirt and prepared to punch him.

"Oh yea? Then tell me, why does it suck so much that ya don't wanna live anymore?"

Ichigo froze but after awhile he lowered his fist and gaze.

"I…" he started and felt tears start to form in his eyes again. "I don't have a-anyone to l-love me anymore. Not a-after what happened to my f-family." He started to sob and fell on his knees still holding onto Renji's shirt.

"Ichigo" Renji said, dropped to his knees and pulled the trembling teenager into a hug. "Ya should have talked ta someone. Ya have great friends who would have listened ta ya if ya would have talked ta them instead of pushing 'em away."

"R-Renji, listen…" Ichigo tried to protest but was interrupted by Renji continuing his speech.

"Or if ya didn't want to 'bother' yer friends ya could've called to those phone-things where ya can talk about things with a stranger or…" he made a short pause."Ya could've called me."

"Would it have made a difference, it wouldn't have brought my family back. I lost my whole family damn it!"

"You're not the only one who lost their family! I lost Rukia who was the closest to family that I've ever had!" Renji shouted and held Ichigo so that he could look into the brown teary eyes.

"I-I'm s-sorry Renji" Ichigo whispered and looked down.

Renji's expression softened. "It's okay" he said and pulled Ichigo close again. "Ya don't have to apologize ta me but don't try anything like that ever again. Now let's go sit somewhere more comfortable an' then ya can tell me everything that's bothering ya, 'kay? He said and pulled Ichigo up with him. He walked over to the bed and sat down. "Come 'ere" he said and reached for Ichigo's hand.

Ichigo stared at Renji's hand for a few seconds before stepping forward and hesitantly taking it but to his surprise Renji yanked him forward so that he landed in his lap and was once again hugged by Renji.

"Ano…Renji? You can let go now."

"Nah. I think I'm gonna hold on ta ya at least for now. Besides ya seem ta like being close ta someone so you're stayin' here until you've told me everything."

"O-okay." Ichigo said but his expression was kinda funny; he was almost crying, he looked confused about Renji's behavior and on top of that he was blushing because he hadn't been this close to anyone in a long time yet alone Renji. "But I don't know where to start."

"Don't worry about it. Take your time, we're in no hurry." Renji said and eventually Ichigo started telling him everything. He told everything about how much he missed his family, how guilty he felt for those who had died, his nightmares, how lonely he felt, how he didn't want to 'bother' his friend with his problems and how he wanted someone to love and love him in return.. Sometime during his 'speech' Ichigo had started crying and now he was sobbing against Renji's chest while clutching his shirt.

'I had no idea that he was this messed up, he even tried to kill himself. What if I'd come 5 minutes later? Then he would be…dead.' Renji thought while he softly rubbed Ichigo's back. 'It hurts to see him like this; he used to be so strong an' independent. I wanna help him get over this an' return to his old self.' he thought before pushing the thought aside and whispering: "It's gonna be alright Ichigo. I'll help ya, I promise."

"Thank you… Renji… for listening." Ichigo mumbled tiredly.

Renji smiled. "No problem." He whispered back. He continued to pet Ichigo's back and hair while wondering why he was being so protective of the teenager. He didn't remember being like this with anyone else, not even Rukia. 'His hair is so soft even though it looks so sharp 'n' spiky. Wait! What am I thinkin', it's not like I like him so why do I notice things like that? Gotta stop thinkin'.' To distract himself from his thoughts he decided that he should let Ichigo go to sleep now.

"Ichigo, ya should sleep now." He said quietly. No response. "Oi, Ichigo did ya hear me?" he said a little louder. Still no response. "Ichigo, what…" he said but then he noticed that Ichigo was already asleep, still holding on to his shirt. Renji's expression softened and he smiled. "I see" he mumbled. He tried to lay Ichigo down but to his surprise Ichigo refused to let go. 'What…? It's almost like _that_ day.' he thought.

"Don't leave me" came a quiet mumble from the sleeping teenager. 'Okay, it's exactly like _that _day.' he thought and gave up trying to pry Ichigo's hands off his shirt. He remembered how Ishida and Inoue had told him about when Ichigo had fallen asleep and grabbed Yoruichi's tail and refused to let go. It had taken four people to get him to let go, so he knew he might not be able to do it alone. He lay down with Ichigo in his arms and the said teen nuzzled his chest in his sleep. 'He's cute when he sleeps. No, what am I thinkin' again! Don't tell me I'm falling Kurosaki Ichigo of all people, especially now when he is so vulnerable. Gotta stop thinkin' about things like that an' help him get better. Then I can think about that, maybe. No, no, no. Damn he's skinny. I need to cook and make sure he eats while I'm here. Guess I should get some sleep too.' he thought and soon after that he fell asleep.

**~next morning~**

Ichigo woke up after the first night without nightmares in a whole year but he didn't open his eyes yet. He wondered why he felt so calm and warm and why he hadn't had any nightmares this night, not that he complained. Then his brain started to register his surroundings; the snoring he assumed belonged to Renji, the sunlight and the arms wrapped around him. 'Wait! The arms wrapped around me? That can't be right.' he thought and snapped his eyes open. He was faced with Renji's chest and apparently the arms holding him also belonged to Renji. 'Why is he sleeping in my bed?' he wondered but then the memories from last night came flooding back to him. 'Oh shit! I broke down in front of _him _of all people after he saved me. He must think I'm pathetic. But why does it feel so…comfortable being close to him?'

"Ya awake Ichigo?" asked a voice above him.

"Wha…? Yeah."

"Mornin'. How did ya sleep well? Any nightmares?"

"N-no." he stuttered. "I slept well. Can ya…you know…let go now. And why did you sleep in my bed?"

"Oh. Of course." Renji said and let go and sat up. "Well, last night when I tried to lay you down an' get up ya refused ta let go an' asked me not to leave ya in yer sleep. So I had no choice."

"I see. Sorry about that." Ichigo said and blushed. "And sorry I broke down like that. It was really pathetic, I should be stronger than that." he added.

"Oh gimme a break. Even the strongest people sometimes need help an' comfort. It doesn't bother be at all. I'm surprised ya didn't snap a long time ago when ya were bottling all those things up. Just let me help from now on 'kay?"

"O-okay. But why do you want to help me?"

"'Cos you're one of my best friends and I don't want to lose another friend. Done asking stupid questions?" he asked.

Ichigo nodded.

"Good. Then we can go an' eat breakfast." He said and stood up. "C'mon."

Ichigo stood up as well but when he tried to walk he fell down on the floor.

"Oi! Ichigo! What's wrong?" Renji asked and rushed back to Ichigo.

"Besides having a hangover my head is spinning and I feel weak." he mumbled.

Renji had noticed the smell of alcohol the night before and now he remembered that the kitchen had been pretty much empty so maybe Ichigo hadn't eaten anything recently.

"When was the last time ya ate somethin'?" he asked.

"Monday afternoon. I think."

"What?! You've been almost five days without eating?! What the hell have ya been thinkin'?"

"Don't yell my head hurts. Anyway it's none of your business how often I eat."

"Yes it is. Ya agreed ta let me help ya so that's what I'm gonna do and that involves making sure that you eat properly. Can ya get up?" Renji asked after his lecture.

"Yeah, I think so. The spinning has stopped for now at least." Ichigo replied and stood up again. But when he tried to walk the spinning started again and he wobbled a little.

Renji sighed, picked Ichigo up bridal style and started walking to the kitchen.

"Hey! Put me down, I can walk on my own!"

*sigh* "Ya were barely able to stand so how were ya planning on walking? Ya have to learn to admit when ya need help. Didn't ya just agree ta let me help ya so shut up an' let me do it."

"Hmph. Fine." Ichigo scowled but his cheeks were tainted with red.

"We're here. Now, it wasn't so bad, was it? Sit here while I make something ta eat. Yesterday I saw that ya didn't have much ta eat here so I bought somethin' on my way back. It's not much since the actual markets were closed but it'll do for now. We'll go shopping later."

"Could you…could you bring me some aspirin? My head is killing me."

"Sure." Renji said a little surprised that Ichigo had actually asked for help. "It wasn't so hard to ask for help, right? Where do ya keep it? The bathroom?"

Ichigo blushed again at Renji's comment. "Shut up. Yeah, on the right side of the cabinet." he mumbled.

Renji chuckled and went to find the medicine. 'He's cute when he blushes. Damn it, what's with these thoughts? Is it 'cos of what he said last night about wanting to be loved or do I really like 'im? Waaah, I dunno anymore!' he thought and took the medicine. On the way back he remembered something. He went to his jacket and took out an energy-snack bar. Renji went back to Ichigo and handed him the things along with a glass of juice.

"Here ya go. Eat this; the energy should stop yer head from spinnin'."

"Thanks" Ichigo said and swallowed the pills first and started to nibble on the snack while Renji started to make breakfast. 'Why do I feel this way around Renji?' Ichigo thought as he watched the said male work. 'I feel so calm and like… everything's gonna be okay. His presence is somehow comforting.'

"All done. Now eat up" Renji said and put down a plate with chopped apples, two oranges and some strawberries. "As I said it's not much but at least you'll get somethin' ta eat. You've lost so much weight that it can't be healthy. Have ya been eating at all since ya came back from Soul Society?"

"Of course I have. I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't now would I?" Ichigo scoffed.

"You know what I mean. Have ya been eating properly?"

"Depends on what you mean by properly. My appetite hasn't been what is used to be before the…war." Ichigo admitted quietly while he stared at the fruits in front of him.

"Ta me it seems like you've been eating barely enough to stay alive so while I'm here I'm gonna make sure that ya eat properly. Eat or I'll have to force it down your throat." Renji threatened.

Ichigo looked cautious and slowly picked up a piece of apple and took a bite.

"It's sour." he said.

"I know. They only had that kind of apples left but it's okay with me since I like them." Renji said and took a strawberry. "But these strawberries are really sweet. I love strawberries, especially the ones in this world."

Ichigo started blushing madly at Renji's comment.

"Why are ya blushing?" Renji asked but the he realized the double meaning of his sentence. "I-I didn't mean it like that (or did I?)" he quickly explained while waving his hands.

"It's okay. I understand." Ichigo said still blushing. 'But why did I feel so sad when he said it when I don't even like him like that?' "Besides, my name doesn't mean strawberry."

"Hey, eat up. Can't have ya fainting when we go shopping." Renji said to change the subject.

"Do I have to go? I don't want to."

"Yes. I'll drag you if I have to. We need to get some groceries an' I would like to look around the town since it's been so long since I last came here. So you're coming."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wanna bet?" Renji said with a smirk.

And so they continued arguing and eventually they finished their breakfast and Ichigo felt better than in a very long time.

**~Later. At the mall~**

"Then how about this? Renji asked.

"I think the first was better." Ichigo replied.

Renji had managed to drag Ichigo to the mall and currently they were in a big store for clothes and Renji was trying on some shirts. He had already found a pair of black jeans and now they were looking for a shirt that matched both with Renji's hair and the pants. Ichigo was standing outside the changing stall and said his opinion about the clothes.

"Okay. I'll try on this last one and if it doesn't match I'll take the first one." Renji said and went back into the stall.

Ichigo turned and looked around himself while Renji changed. 'It's actually nice to hang out with a friend for a change. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to go out.' he thought.

"Ichigo how's this one?"

Ichigo turned back to look at Renji and he was stunned at the sight. Renji was wearing a black button-up shirt with red patterns on the right side and the hem.

"I-it's perfect." he managed to breathe out.

"Good. Then I'll take this one. Have ya found anything for yourself?"

"No. Actually I haven't even been looking for anything."

"Why don't ya do it then? I'm sure you'll find something ya like."

"But I can't buy anything; I have my wallet at home."

"How did ya manage to do that? After all I said we were going to shop."

"It's your fault. You dragged me out and grabbed the wrong jacket for me."

"Sorry." Renji said smirking sheepishly.

"Whatever." Ichigo said but anyway to check out some clothes. Soon he found a pair of tight-fitting, dark blue jeans and a dark purple shirt with flames that he liked. Ichigo decided to try them on while Renji was putting the other clothes he had tried back to their places. He went back to the stalls and started changing.

Meanwhile Renji was putting the last shirt back to its place and when he didn't see Ichigo anywhere ha assumed that he had found something that he wanted to try on so he went back to the stalls to wait. A moment later Ichigo stepped out with a pair of jeans and a shirt in his hand.

"Ya found something ya like?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll come back later to buy them when I have my wallet with me."

"Lemme see." Renji said and held out his hand. "They look good." he said when Ichigo had handed them to him. "Let's go, I'll buy 'em for ya." he continued and started walking towards the cash desk.

"Wait! You don't have to do that. I can pay for them myself." Ichigo protested.

"I know but I want to. I'm staying at your place after all so ya can consider it as payment for it if ya want."

"But you don't have to pay for that and you're already helping me with my problems. That's more than enough."

"I'm paying. No buts."

"But…"

"I said no buts. I want to do this, get it?"

"Okay, but I still think it's too much."

"Good. Now lemme pay an' then we can go and get the groceries and head back home." Renji said and walked to the young woman behind the cash desk.

"I'd like to buy these."

"Sure thing. Are they for your boyfriend?" the woman asked. Ichigo stood completely chocked behind Renji. 'Boyfriend? Do we look like we're dating since we're shopping clothes together?' he thought.

"Boyfriend?" Renji asked and looked at Ichigo who seemed to be paralyzed behind him. "Oh we're not dating, we're just friends an' he left his wallet at home so I'm paying."

The woman realized her mistake and started apologizing. "I'm so sorry. You two just look so cute together. I apologize for my rudeness."

"It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes."

Ichigo just stared at Renji while the shinigami paid. 'He didn't get mad when she suggested that we were dating? He must be sick because the Renji I know would've flipped at the thought of dating me or then he's just good at hiding it.'

"Hey Ichigo! Ya comin'?"

Ichigo was pulled back to reality by Renji's voice. "Yeah, I'm coming." He replied quickly and hurried after Renji.

They walked in silence towards the food market until Renji asked:

"Is somethin' wrong? Ya haven't said anything since we left that store."

"No. I'm just thinking."

"About what?" Renji inquired.

"Why do you wanna know?"

"C'mon, just tell me."

"N-no, it's nothing important."

"Tell me."

"No."

"It must be something if it gets you silent. Well?"

Ichigo gave in. "Why…didn't you…react when that woman thought we were…you know…dating?"

"That's what bothered ya?"

"Well…yeah. The you I know from before would've flipped at just the thought of dating me."

"I've changed just like you. In Soul Society we don't care about gender and lemme say that you're strong and attractive so I see no shame in the thought of dating you, understand?"

"Yeah. So…you think I'm…attractive?" Ichigo asked a little unsure and blushed once again.

"You're blushing a lot today and yea, I think you're attractive. Hasn't anyone said that to ya before?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Not even Orihime? She used to like ya before she started to date Ishida."

"She liked me?"

"Don't tell me ya never noticed? The hints she gave were so obvious that even I noticed."

"Well sorry for not being very good at that kind of things though it wouldn't have made a difference since I don't like her that way."

"Is there anyone ya like that way?"

"I'm…not sure. There's this one person that suddenly appeared in my life and now I get this weird feeling when I'm around them. How about you?"

"I think I like this one person but I don't know if there's even a small chance that they feel the same about me. I'm pretty sure this person is straight even though they haven't been in a relationship yet. We're here." Renji announced and stopped in front of a market. "What would ya like ta eat today?" he asked to change the slightly awkward subject.

"Nothing particular. I like spicy food and chocolate but you can choose since you're paying."

"I don't like spicy food but chocolate is okay. Maybe we should make something that's somewhere between spicy and mild. How does curry and chocolate cake sound ta ya?"

"Pretty good actually. Can ya cook?"

"Of course I can. I live alone so I had ta learn to feed myself. Can't ya?"

"I can but I'm not that good. I can mainly cook simple stuff like soup and cookies."

"Maybe I can teach ya somethin' while I'm here. Let's go so we can head back then." Renji said and they went into the market.

**~later in Ichigo's apartment~**

"Renji, this is really good. Who taught you to cook like this?" Ichigo asked after he had eaten the curry Renji had made.

"No one. I taught myself by using cookbooks. Glad ya like it, want some more?"

"Nah, I'm full."

"But ya barely ate anything."

"I'm not used to eating very much. Like you said before I haven't been eating properly for the past year."

"Okay. Do ya still want some dessert?"

"Yeah, I like chocolate cake."

Renji chuckled and handed Ichigo a piece of cake.

"What" Ichigo asked with his mouth filled with cake.

"Ya just looked so happy when ya tasted it and ya look adorable when yer mouth's stuffed with cake."

Ichigo swallowed and said: "I'm not adorable."

"Well not all the time. But when you're confused or asleep or when ya smile ya look really adorable."

"I do not!"

"Yes ya do. Have ya ever seen yourself when ya sleep?"

"No, of course not but I'm still not adorable."

"Think what ya want but I've seen it. Since I cooked ya can do the dishes right?"

"I guess. What are you planning on doing and why do you insist on saying that I'm adorable?"

"During the war I realized that if there's something ya wanna tell someone ya should do it right away because if you don't it might be too late when ya decide to do it. I wanted to tell Rukia how much she means to me but I was too scared to do so and when I finally found the courage to do it it was already too late."

"Did you love her?"

"Yeah but only as my best friend. Back then I decided that I would tell the people I care about everything I want them to know."

"Why do you want me to know that I'm…adorable when I'm asleep?"

"Who knows? I just felt like telling you, I guess. After all you're one of my best friends an' I care about ya. I'm gonna go an' watch some TV. Join me when you're done." And with that Renji left the kitchen and went into the living room leaving a confused Ichigo sitting in the kitchen.

'I still think he's acting strange but he's right about that. Guess I should get to work.' He sighed and stood up.

**~meanwhile in the living room~**

Renji was sitting on the couch watching a movie. He had learned how to use a TV at Urahara's place during the time he had spent in Karakura town before the war and Ichigo's TV wasn't that different from Urahara's so it didn't cause him any problems to put it on and choose a channel he liked. The movie was some action movie with lots of shooting scenes and things going boom and Renji thought it was actually kinda good.

After about fifteen minutes of watching Ichigo came from the kitchen and sat down next to him and they continued to watch the movie together.

When the movie ended Ichigo got up and said: "I'm gonna go and take a shower and then go to bed. Turn the lights off after you stop watching."

"'kay, I'll just watch this show. I'll try to be quiet so I won't wake ya up. And don't do anything stupid this time."

"Yea yea, I won't." Ichigo replied and started to walk towards the bathroom.

"Just making sure."

"Thanks for caring."

"That's what friends are for."

"Yea but thanks anyway. By the way, what are ya watching?"

"It's called CSI I think. They can do really cool things with those machines they use to investigate stuff." Renji said while grinning his trademark grin.

"I used to watch it too until last season ended. Now they're only showing reruns." Ichigo said and disappeared into the bathroom. Renji just returned to watching the TV.

**~later~**

Ichigo walked into his bedroom and closed the door. The shower had been really nice and relaxing and he was even more convinced than before that it might have been a good thing that Renji had stopped him from hurting himself.

'I'm glad he's here, I feel better when he's around.' Ichigo thought.

'So are we.' said an eerie voice inside his head.

'What do you want Shiro?'

'Nothing much, for once we agree about something. It stopped raining in here after ya told him about everything. We are tired of getting soaked in here; it's been raining nonstop for the past year. And on top of that ya locked me and the old man away last night an' tried to kill yourself.'

'Sorry about that. As you might have noticed the past year hasn't been a very good one but Renji made me realize that my life is still worth living. It won't happen again.'

'It had better not King or I'll kick yer as and become King myself. The sunshine's nice in here; I might get a nice tan if this keeps up.'

'That's something I would like to see. You with a tan.'

'What's wrong with that?'

'Nothing, you're just so…white it might look weird. Now, can you get out of my head? I'm gonna go to bed now.'

'Okay but remember what I said King.' Shiro said and his voice faded away.

Ichigo walked to his closet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. He had learned to get along with his inner hollow during the war and he wasn't so bad when you learned to know him. Shiro had actually tried to cheer him up after the war with no success but he had tried and that was something. Ichigo got dressed, laid down on his bed and pulled the covers over him. 'It was a fun day, hopefully there will be no nightmares this night.' he thought and fell asleep soon after. His wish however wasn't going to come true.

**~later~**

Renji walked into Ichigo's bedroom as quietly as he could but immediately he noticed that it was no need for it when he sensed the distress echoing from Ichigo's reiatsu. Ichigo was having another nightmare so he walked over to him and started shaking him.

"Oi! Ichigo, wake up! Wake up!" he said loudly.

Ichigo sat up so fast that he almost hit his forehead against Renji's. He was breathing hard and clearly panicking.

"Renji hurry! We gotta help her or she'll…"

"Ichigo! Calm down. It was just a dream." Renji said and embraced the trembling teen. Ichigo leaned onto Renji and after a while his breathing slowed down.

"Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"Wanna tell me about your dream? It often helps to tell someone about your nightmare."

"It was about Rukia when she fought that arrancar and got…killed."

"Okay. Do ya still feel guilty about it?"

"Yeah. If I had been a little faster she would still be …"

""Ichigo, it's not your fault. No one blames you for it, not me not Kuchiki-taicho and I'm sure that not even Rukia does wherever she may be now. So stop blaming yourself. Do you understand?"

"Yeah but I still feel like there's something that I could've done." Ichigo said and pulled away from Renji.

"There wasn't anything that you could've done, don't worry. Can ya go back to sleep now or do ya wanna talk some more?" Renji asked.

"I'll try to sleep. Thanks for listening again." Ichigo said and laid back down.

"No problem." Renji answered and got up. "I'll go to sleep too after I've brushed my teeth." he continued and left the room for a few minutes. When he returned Ichigo was already asleep again. He smiled and changed into his night clothes. 'He's gonna be okay once we get rid of those nightmares.' he thought as he laid down on his futon.

They both slept peacefully that night without any nightmares.

**Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now I finally have part three done and by the way there's going to be a fourth part as well. The reason is that the last part turned out so long that I can divide it into two parts without making them too short compared to the others. The fourth part is done; I just gotta type it which will take at least a few days.**

**Warnings: boys kissing**

**I don't own bleach**

**Here's part three. Enjoy.**

Almost a month had passed since the day Renji had appeared in Karakura Town and he and Ichigo had grown pretty close during that time. Renji helped Ichigo with his nightmares by comforting him after he woke up and listening when Ichigo told him about them. Gradually the dreams had started to decrease and now only the worst of them were left. After spending so much time with Ichigo Renji was now sure that he loved the orange haired teen but he had no idea of how Ichigo felt about him. Actually neither had Ichigo himself. He still got that weird feeling when he was around Renji even though he really enjoyed Renji's company. He had started to notice small things about the redhead he hadn't noticed before like how good he smelled, how silky his hair was and that he often hummed some weird melody when he cooked or when he was holding him after he had had another nightmare. To someone else it might have been obvious that he was falling in love but not to Ichigo.

One day when they were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast Renji asked:

"Hey wanna go to a club tonight? It says here that they have opened a new one not far from here. We could put on the clothes we bought last month."

"Why not. When does it open?" Ichigo replied and looked up from his food.

"At eight o'clock. That okay with ya?"

"Yeah. I just have to finish some school assignments and then I'm ready to go. It won't take that long, a couple hours or three at most. We have plenty of time to kill before it's eight o'clock."

"Great, it's gonna be fun to go out for a change. We've been mostly inside all this time." Renji said smiling but his smile disappeared when Ichigo suddenly stood up and walked away without a word. He realized immediately what was wrong when he caught a glimpse of the expression on Ichigo's face.

"Ichigo!" he said and went after him. "Ichigo, I didn't mean it like that." Renji tried to explain.

"Oh yea? Then how did ya mean it 'cos to me it sounded like it's my fault that ya haven't been out! Ya can leave for all I care; I'm not forcing ya to stay!" Ichigo shouted after turning around to face Renji.

"I didn't mean that I don't wanna be inside with ya 'cos that's fine with me but I wanna go out with _you_ even though it's fun with the others too."

"Go out…with me?" Ichigo asked confused.

"Oops, that didn't come out right. I meant go out not like go out go out. Ya know just hang out with ya. I'm helping ya an' spending my time with ya 'cos I wanna do it."

"I understand. Sorry for yelling at you, I don't know what got into me."

"It's okay." Renji said and wrapped an arm around Ichigo's shoulders. "Let's go an' finish our breakfast."

"Yeah. I still feel a little bad about yelling."

"Forget it; it doesn't bother me so ya have no reason to think about it anymore."

"I'll try. Thanks for making breakfast again, it's good as usual."

"Thanks. It's fun to cook for someone else for a change."

They went back to the kitchen and finished their breakfast while talking about the evening. Ichigo even promised to introduce Renji to some new drinks since they had only sake in Soul Society.

Renji watched as the credits of some stupid show moved down on the screen in front of him. He had watched some TV while Ichigo worked on his assignments but now he was really bored 'cos there was nothing interesting on so he decided to go and see how Ichigo was doing with his work.

He walked into Ichigo's bedroom and saw the bright haired teen sitting at his desk drawing something, not yet aware of Renji's presence due to the music blasting through his headphones.

Renji snuck behind the unsuspecting teen and looked at the picture over his shoulder; it was a coloured pic of a bridge over the river in Karakura Town.

"That looks really nice. Have ya always been this good at drawing?" he whispered in Ichigo's ear after pulling the ear buds out. The reaction was immediate. Ichigo swirled around in his chair ready to punch if needed.

"Renji! Don't sneak up on me like that." Ichigo said surprised.

"Actually I didn't sneak up on ya, ya just didn't notice me 'cos ya were so concentrated on drawing. Now, answer my question." Renji said with a grin.

"I guess I have."

"Wow, I didn't know. No one ever told me."

"Well no one besides my family knew, besides, I used to draw only when I was alone and when I was done I put the drawings in a drawer so pretty much no one has seen them. That's why nobody told you 'cos no one knew."

"That explains it. But why didn't ya tell anyone?"

"Drawing has always been my way of relaxing an' getting away from the rest of the world so I guess I didn't want anyone intruding in my own little world. In fact no one ever asked me about it 'cos I never said anything about it myself but I would've answered if they did."

"Am I intruding in your private world? If I am just tell me an' I'll leave ya alone when ya want to draw." Renji said with a serious expression.

"Nah, I don't mind if ya watch. I've become used to people watching me while I work at school." Ichigo replied with a small smile.

"Good for me then 'cos it's fun to watch ya concentrate like that. Can ya show me some of yer work?" Renji asked while grinning wolfishly again.

"Um…sure." Ichigo said a little surprised by the request. "They are in the folders on the shelves over there; pick any one of them."

"That many? How much do ya really draw?" Renji asked surprised by the amount of folders next to the books on the shelves.

"Before ya came here…1-3 pics a day."

"Did ya even do anything else back then?"

"Of course! I worked, went to school and…watched TV."

Renji raised an eyebrow with a questioning look.

"Fine! So I didn't do much else before ya came. So what?"

"Oh nothin'. Looks like I brought some major changes to yer life, don'tcha think?" Renji said with a smug look.

"Shut up! I'm gonna continue working now so be quiet." Ichigo said and turned around to hide the blush on his face. It was true that Renji had changed his life a lot just by being there and Ichigo was starting to think that Renji was the reason he wanted to live but how it had come down to that he didn't know.

Renji chuckled. "Yea, yea, I'll be quiet." he said and walked to the bookshelf, pulled out one of the many folders and returned to sit on the bed. Ichigo continued to work on his pic while Renji looked through his other pics.

"I saw when ya drew this one." Renji said after 30 minutes of silence and pointed at the pic of himself and Rukia he had seen before. "Ya were sitting on the roof of the Kuchiki-mansion but back then I assumed ya were just thinking or something like that."

"Ya saw me? I thought ya were too occupied with Rukia to notice anything else."

"I just happened to look up but if ya were hiding ya weren't doing a very well. Anyone could've seen ya if they looked up."

"I wasn't hiding, just looking for a peaceful place to draw something. I borrowed some paper and pencils from Rukia's room when she wasn't there and when I arrived on the roof I saw you two sitting in the garden. You looked happier than I've ever seen you both look and I would have taken a photo if I'd had a camera but 'cos I didn't I decided to draw you."

"And it turned out really well. Ya even got my tattoos right."

"Thanks. I'm done with this now." Ichigo said and put his pencil down.

"Finally. Show me." Renji said. Ichigo turned the paper so that Renji could see it properly. "Wow that's amazing; it's almost like a photograph. I think I just got a new favourite artist."

"You have a favourite artist? Who?" Ichigo asked curious of that the redhead was interested in art.

"Kuchiki Byakuya."

"Byakuya?"

"Yeah, he's really good at painting. He tried to teach me an' Rukia too but it didn't go very well. I have absolutely no artistic talent an' Rukia insisted on painting in her Chappy-style so the result didn't look like the real thing but in a cartoon or a comic it would have looked great." Renji said, his face clearly showing that he was recalling a happy memory.

"I'd like to see some of his work." Ichigo said.

"Maybe I'll take ya with me to Soul Society sometime an' ask him ta show ya. Ya get along nowadays don'tcha?"

"Yeah, somehow. He still doesn't like me though."

"I think he does, he just doesn't wanna show it 'cos he's a noble an' you're a former ryoka."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious. He acts cold an' arrogant towards anyone who's not a taicho or a noble, towards them he acts only cold and that includes you too. It might not seem like it but he respects you 'cos you're strong an' ya defeated Aizen when no one else could." Renji said trying to convince Ichigo. "By the way, why am I trying to convince ya that Kuchiki-taicho doesn't hate ya?" Renji asked.

"Dunno. You've been doing things like that the whole time you've been staying here." Ichigo said.

"Things like what?"

"Things to cheer me up or that's what it seems like." Ichigo answered. "Why?"

"'Cos I hate seeing ya sad an' depressed, it doesn't suit ya. That's why I wanna cheer ya up an' make you smile. Has it worked?" Renji asked with a hopeful look.

"Yeah." Ichigo said with a smile and, to Renji's surprise, hugged him. "Thanks Renji."

"That's good to hear." Renji said and hugged the teen back. "I really like yer smile so I wanna make ya smile more."

Ichigo pulled back blushing.

"So what do ya wanna do now then? We have…let's see…five hours before eight o'clock and you're blushing again."

"I can't help it. _You_ said that you like my smile, that's a line you usually use to pick up girls in the real world."

Renji chuckled. "Okay then, sorry about embarrassing you but it's true and

I want you to know it. Ya should smile more."

"You're not sorry, you're grinning like a maniac and lately I've been smiling more than ever before since my mom died."

"Really?"

"Well…yeah. But you don't have to be so excited about it." Ichigo said while scowling and blushing at the same time.

"Why shouldn't I?" Renji asked grinning even wider. "I've succeeded in my task and that means I've stopped you from hurting yourself so of course I'm happy about it. Hey, wanna go to an arcade now?" Renji asked changing the subject.

"You've been to an arcade before?" Ichigo asked surprised.

"Yeah, with Orihime and the rest of the gang when ya were at work last week. It was really fun an' I wanna go with you there too. What do ya say?"

"Okay, let's go." Ichigo said smiling and stood up.

"Great!" Renji said grinning widely.

___**half an hour later at the arcade~**_

"Can we play this first Ichi? Can we, can we, can we?"

Ichigo thought that Renji looked like a kid in a candy store the way he was grinning and bouncing up and down in front of the game he wanted to play.

"Sure." he answered. But then something suddenly hit him. "Did you call me Ichi just now?"

Renji stopped bouncing but not grinning. "Yeah, I did. Does it bother ya?"

"No, the name itself doesn't bother me it's just about who calls me that. Until now my family were the only ones close enough to call me that."

"Sorry. I'll stop if ya want."

"No, it's okay. I think. We've become pretty close during this past month; you're my best friend and almost like family now when you're living with me.

"Glad to hear that. 'Ichi' sounds cute an' it suits ya really well when ya blush like that. It's so cute."

"I'm not cute!" Ichigo said scowling but the effect was taken away by the blush on his face.

"I'm not gonna start arguing with ya about it so can we play now?" the still grinning redhead asked.

"Fine but I'm gonna kick your ass for calling me cute."

"Bring it on Ichi-chan." Renji said with a challenging smirk.

"Don't call me that, teme! I'm gonna wipe that smirk away by beating ya at your own game.

"That so? How about we make a deal; if ya win I'll stop calling ya Ichi-chan and cute but if I win I can continue if I want."

"You're on but don't cry when I wipe the floor with ya."

"I won't because you're the one who's gonna lose."

And so they started to play. For a long time it looked like Renji was indeed going to win but when there was only a few seconds Ichigo used a trick that doubled his score.

"I WIN!" Ichigo shouted and threw his arms in the air while smiling widely.

"No, how's this possible? I was supposed to win; I led until the very end." Renji mumbled mostly to himself.

"Only by a few points. And you forgot to use your special trick is the answer to your question." Ichigo said still smiling widely. (You can choose for yourself what they were playing 'cos I have no idea.)

"Damn…" Renji started but when he looked up he was stunned by what he saw. 'Beautiful.' he thought. Ichigo was smiling widely at him and Renji could almost feel the happiness radiating from him. "…it." he finished his sentence.

"What?" Ichigo asked confused about the look Renji was giving him.

Renji pulled himself together and smiled. "Nothing, ya won fair an' square. So what do ya wanna play next?" he asked.

"Hmm. How about that one?" Ichigo suggested and pointed at a driving game on the other side of the arcade.

"Sure. Let's go."

And so they continued to play different games. They took turns choosing what to play but Ichigo won nearly every time.

"Damn it Ichi. How are ya so good at all these games? We've played like…thirty different games several times and you've won every time except once. Ya cheating or somethin'?"

"You can't cheat in these games Renji. I played a lot when I was younger so I guess my brain still remembers how to win. By the way, what time is it?"

Renji checked his communicator for the time.

"It's almost seven. Wanna go an' eat something before we go home to change clothes?"

"Sure. There's a nice place down the street where you can get all kinds of food."

"Do they have taiyaki? Please say they have taiyaki."

"Ya really like taiyaki don'tcha?"

"No, I _love_ taiyaki. Do they have it?"

Ichigo chuckled. "Yes they do."

"Yes! Let's go, I wanna have some taiyaki right now an' then I wanna go partying!" Renji announced grinning while he walked through the doors. "Left or right?" he asked Ichigo who walked behind him.

"Left but can ya walk a little slower, it's hard to keep up and we're not in a hurry."

"Of course. Sorry, I just got so excited that I didn't notice I was walking too fast." the redhead said and slowed down to the same pace as Ichigo.

"I kinda noticed that. There it is, in through that door."

They went in and were met by a smiling waitress whose eyes widened when she saw Ichigo.

"Ichigo! I haven't seen you in a whole year. Where have you been? You used to come here all the time, I've missed you." She said all in one breath.

Renji noticed that her personality was a lot like Orihime's.

"Sorry, I've had some problems with my health." Ichigo said while rubbing his neck.

"Oh my god! Are you okay? You're not gonna die are you?" she continued worriedly.

"No, I'm fine now. Renji here helped me get better." Ichigo said and motioned towards Renji with his hand while smiling at the waitress.

"Hello, nice to meet you Renji-san. I'm Higurashi Kyoko but you can call me Kyoko." she said.

"Nice ta meet ya too, I'm Abarai Renji but Renji is fine with me. Are ya Ichigo's girlfriend?"

"No, no, we're just friends. But it's funny, I was about to ask if you are his boyfriend."

"What?! No he's just a friend of mine, my best friend actually." Ichigo said blushing dark red. "Renji, why do people seem to think we're dating because we hang out together?" Ichigo whispered to Renji.

"Dunno. Ask Kyoko." the redhead whispered back.

"Kyoko, why did you think we were…together?"

"You look good together and you look happier than ever before after your mom died. Why do you ask? Has it happened before?"

"Yeah. When we went shopping about a month ago. A woman who worked in a clothes-store said we looked cute together when I paid for our clothes." Renji explained.

"She was right you know. Now, did you come here to talk or would you like to have something to eat?"

"That would be nice."

"This way then." Kyoko said and showed them to a table for two in the corner. "What would you like to have then?" she said when they had sat down.

"I'll have a big plate of taiyaki." Renji announced grinning.

"Okay. You love taiyaki, don't you?"

"Got that right."

"And what about you?" she asked Ichigo.

"I'll have the usual."

"Pizza with ham and pineapple chunks it is. Drinks?"

"A diet coke for me."

"Same here."

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute with your drinks." Kyoko said and left with their order.

"She's nice. Have ya known her for a long time?" Renji asked.

"Yeah, she's the daughter of the owner and when I was younger we played together when my family came here to eat." Ichigo explained.

"She reminds me a little of Orihime the way she worries about ya." Renji stated.

"I guess she does, even though she's two or three years older than her." Ichigo said just as Kyoko returned carrying a tray with their drinks.

"Here you go. Your food will be done in a few minutes." she said. "I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta take care of the other customers too. Tell me before you leave though"

"Sure thing Kyoko." Ichigo answered smiling.

Kyoko giggled. "That smile really suits you, I'm glad you've found someone who can make you that happy." she said and skipped away to greet some new customers while Ichigo blushed for about the hundredth time during Renji's stay.

"You're blushing again. Ya embarrassed about being happy in my company?" Renji asked grinning.

"Shut up!" Ichigo said and blushed even more.

"So it's true then, you're happy with me?"

"I said shut up." Ichigo turned his head away from Renji.

"Aww, no need to be embarrassed. Now, admit it."

"No."

"C'mon Ichi,"

"Fine! Yes, I'm happy with you and I feel like you're the reason I wanna live these days and on top of that I have no idea what I'm gonna do when you leave for Soul Society again! Happy now?!"

Renji's jaw dropped at Ichigo's confession/outburst.

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that." he said after a minute of silence.

"Well you asked for it." Ichigo snapped while blushing furiously.

"Yea, yea, I'm just surprised that's all."

"Excuse me but here's your food." a voice said.

"Thank you." Ichigo said and looked up at the waitress.

"Thanks." Renji said as well. "Mmm, looks delicious."

Soon the previous subject was forgotten and the two redheads were chatting happily about various things.

When they were done they paid and told Kyoko they were leaving.

"Okay, it was nice seeing you again Ichigo and meeting you Renji. Promise to come again soon and don't disappear like you did without telling me first so that I don't have to worry." she said.

"I promise. See ya."

"It was nice ta meet ya too and the food was delicious. We'll definitely come again soon." Renji said.

"Bye bye then." Kyoko said.

"Bye." Renji replied and walked out after Ichigo.

They continued to chat all the way back to Ichigo's flat. There Ichigo said that he was going to take a shower so Renji decided to watch some TV while he waited.

**~15 minutes later~**

Renji sat on the couch. It had only been fifteen minutes and Ichigo had come out of the shower and was currently getting dressed but he was already bored. He stretched and yawned.

"Getting tired before we even get to the club? Maybe you should just stay here and sleep." Ichigo's voice said from the doorway.

"In yer dreams. Ya just took so long in the shower that I'm getting bored." Renji replied and turned to look at the teen. "Wow! Ya look hot."

Ichigo was wearing the dark blue jeans and the purple shirt with flames Renji had bought for him and they were tight fitting like Ichigo's usual clothes.

"Thanks. Ya don't look too bad yourself either. Ready to go?"

"Of course. Let's go partying!"

They grabbed their jackets and left for the club. When they arrived there was already a long line of people standing outside.

"Looks like someone else wants to go partying as well, don'tcha think?" Renji stated.

"Yeah. Guess we have no choice but to stand in line and wait.

After a few minutes a group of people stepped out from the club. A man carrying a megaphone shouted: "Hello everybody! It's nice to see that so many people wanna come to my new club and to celebrate the opening we have a little competition. These two ladies and these two guys here will walk along the line and pick two guys and two girls who they think are the hottest they can find and those people will get in first for free AND they will also get all their drinks for free!" The crowd cheered. "That's right, two guys and two girls will get a chance to party tonight for free!" the man continued.

The crowd cheered again but became silent when the men and women started to walk down the line to choose their favorites. The men stopped after a few meters next to a couple of girls who were holding hands.

"Hello beautiful ladies. Would you like to party for free tonight?" they asked.

Both girls giggled and answered: "Of course!" The girls walked to the doors with the men.

"A very good choice guys. Here are the tickets for you my beautiful ladies. Just show them to the bartender and your drinks are free. Now let's see who the ladies will pick." The man who apparently owned the place said.

The women had continued to walk down the line and now they stopped next to Ichigo and Renji.

"I think we have made our choice, don't you think?" one of them asked the other.

"Yes, I agree completely."

"Would you like to party for free tonight?" they asked a very surprised couple of redheads.

"Yeah, of course we do!" Renji said grinning widely.

"Then come with us to get your tickets."

"A very good choice on your part as well ladies. Here are your tickets guys. And for the rest of you, sorry, but you have to pay to get in. I wish everybody a great evening and night. Have fun!" the owner said and showed the chosen people in.

"As promised you don't have to pay a single yen while you're here unless you break something. I hope you have a nice evening and hopefully you'll come again. Have fun." He said and left them there.

"Now you can do whatever you want. We have to get back to work." one of the men said.

"We also wish you a pleasant evening; you'll be seeing us around since we work here. Bye for now." one of the women added and they left. Also the two chosen girls left.

"Let's go an' get some drinks, ya promised to show me some new drinks this morning." Renji said exited by the thought.

"Okay the." Ichigo said and they went to the bar and sat down. Ichigo ordered a couple of drinks and handed one to the excited redhead beside him. "Try this; it's one of my favorites."

Renji sipped at his drink. "This is pretty good."

Ichigo chuckled. "I know."

Later after a few drinks Ichigo asked Renji if he wanted to go and dance for a while.

"Sure." Renji answered and they got up and walked over to the dance floor that was already full of other people.

Ichigo raised his hands and started to move his hips to the beat of the music. He wasn't drunk yet, only a little braver than when he was completely sober.

"You're pretty good at dancing Ichi. Yer shirt looks like it's really on fire when ya move, it's hot." Renji said after a few minutes of observing the orange-haired male in front of him.

"Thanks. You're pretty good too."

Ichigo was having fun with Renji. They were laughing, dancing and chatting about various things until Renji suggested they'd go and drink something. After they had gotten their drinks they noticed that there were no free tables anywhere.

"Looks like we have to stand or ask someone if we can sit with them." Ichigo stated.

"Yep. Hey, there are the girls from before. They're sitting alone; maybe we could sit with them." Renji suggested.

"Guess it's worth a try."

They made their way to the booth where the girls were sitting.

"Can we sit here?" Renji asked with a smile.

"Go ahead but let me make on thing clear: don't try to his on us; were not into guys." One of the girls answered.

"So you're dating?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with it?"

"No, not at all. Right Ichi?"

"Yep, it's completely fin. And were not looking for girlfriend either." Ichigo confirmed.

"Good. It's annoying when guys try to hit on us when we go out. I'm Hitomi and this is my girlfriend Miho, nice to meet you."

"I'm Renji an' this is Ichigo, nice ta meet ya too."

"Are you dating?" Miho asked.

"No but maybe we should start since everyone seems ta think we are, ne Ichigo?"

Ichigo who had just taken a sip from his drink stared coughing. "What? *cough* Are you *cough* serious? I mean, why would you wanna date me?" he asked.

"Relax, it was a joke but there are plenty of reasons why someone would like ta date ya; you're strong, good looking and funny when you're not acting too serious."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"No problem."

"Do you have girlfriends?" Miho asked.

"No. Why do you ask?" Ichigo answered.

"You said earlier that you weren't looking for girlfriend and you're not dating either. Are you gay?"

"Miho, you can't ask strangers questions like that." Hitomi scolded her girlfriend.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer." Miho apologized.

"It's okay. To be honest, I don't know, I've never liked anyone that way. Right now I have someone special but I don't know if I like them that way." Ichigo said thoughtfully.

"Oh, interesting! What about you Renji-kun?"

"I'm bi and I'm currently in love but I don't know how they feel about me, I haven't told 'em yet."

"Why not?"

"He's a friend of mine an' I don't wanna screw up our friendship."

"So it's a he?"

"Yeah." Renji admitted when he noticed what he had said.

Hitomi's eyes darted back and fort between Ichigo and Renji a few times. "I think you should tell him. If he's a real friend he won't laugh at you and you can still be friends even if he doesn't feel the same. What do you think he would do?" she asked.

"Now that you asked, I think he would understand."

"Okay. So what else is keeping you from telling him?"

"Great, I'm getting relationship-advice from a complete stranger. Well, whatever. I dunno how to tell him."

"Oh, I know!" Miho said enthusiastically. "Show him with a kiss, that's how they do it in mangas."

"Miho, t his is real life, not a manga."

"Actually that's a pretty good idea. He's always been a man of action, just like me."

He turned towards Ichigo who had just come back from the bar with more drinks.

"Hey Ichi?"

"What?" Ichigo asked but instead of a verbal answer he got a physical. He was pulled into a hug and a pair of lips pressed against his own. Renji started kissing him but when he got no response he pulled away.

"Sorry, I had no right to do that. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. Forget that it happened."

"No! I mean…it's okay, you just surprised me. I think…I think I like you too." Ichigo said and place his hands on Renji's tights and leaned up to kiss him shyly on the lips.

"Ya do?" Renji asked surprised.

"Yeah, I think so." Ichigo replied blushing.

"Then, will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

A grin made its way to Renji's face.

"Great!" he said and pulled Ichigo close for another kiss. It was bliss. Renji's tongue managed to coax Ichigo's out from its hiding place to play by softly licking at Ichigo's lips. Ichigo moaned and wrapped his arms around the neck of his new boyfriend.

"Kawaiiiiii!!!" Miho squealed.

"More like hot. But also cute." Hitomi stated smirking. "Hey guys, people are starting to stare."

"Let them stare." Renji said after breaking the kiss but still staying close to Ichigo. "It's not every day they see a hot guy like me making out with an even hotter guy like Ichi." he grinned.

"Renji!" Ichigo blushed at the comment.

"What? It's true, ne Hitomi, Miho?"

"Yes!" they answered in chorus.

"You heard them. Hey! Wanna go dancing?"

"Yes, Hitomi can we go too? Please?" Miho asked.

"Sure, if that's what you want, babe."

"Let's go then. C'mon baby?" Renji exclaimed.

"Baby?"

"Don't like it? Want me ta call ya love or sweetheart or honey instead?"

"Dunno, I'm new to this kind of stuff."

"Anyway, c'mon."

"Yea yea."

They went to the dance floor and started to dance just like before but something was pulling them towards each other and soon they were dancing with Renji's hands on Ichigo's hips and Ichigo's arms around Renji's neck. Hitomi and Miho were dancing in a similar way as well.

The small group continued to dance and drink the whole evening until Miho and Hitomi had to leave because they had work the next day. Renji and Ichigo offered to accompany them home but they said that they didn't have to; they were big girls who could take care of themselves. The two couples said their goodbyes at the door and left for their respective homes.

"I had fun tonight Renji." Ichigo said happily when they arrived to his flat.

"Me too Ichi. Miho an' Hitomi were nice but mainly 'cos I got the guy I wanted." Renji said and leaned in for a kiss.

"Hmm…Renji…feels good." Ichigo whispered between kisses.

"I know but I'll make ya feel even better." Renji whispered back while he started to undress the younger male in his arms. Ichigo stopped him before he actually managed to anything.

"What is it Ichi?"

"I don't wanna go that far yet."

"Oh." Renji said and Ichigo caught a glimpse of disappointment in the redhead's eyes.

"Sorry Ren." Somehow he felt like he had to apologize.

"No, no it's okay. Ya don't have ta apologize; it should be me since I tried to do something ya didn't like. I can wait until you're ready to go further so don't force yerself. I want ya to be happy."

"Thank you Ren." Ichigo said and kissed Renji. "Now I'm gonna sleep, I'm tired."

"'kay."

They both started to change into their PJs. Ichigo noticed that Renji swayed a little so he decided to tease the shinigami.

"Are ya so drunk ya can't stand straight?"

"Shut up!" Renji replied and threw the T-shirt he was going to put on at Ichigo.

"Thanks for the shirt." Ichigo said and put it on.

"Hey that's mine! Oh well, guess I'll sleep without a shirt then." The redhead said and sat down on his futon.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna sleep too, what else? Am I not allowed?"

"Aren't you going to…you know…sleep with me?" Ichigo asked blushing.

"Do ya want me ta?" Renji asked. Ichigo nodded.

"In that case…make some room fer me."

Ichigo scooted over so Renji could climb into the bed with him. Once they were comfortably settled Renji wrapped his arms around the smaller male and pulled him close.

"G'night Ichi." he whispered.

"Night Ren." Ichigo whispered back and snuggled as close to the redhead as possible.

Only a few minutes later they were both asleep, holding each other.

**~next morning~**

Renji was the first to wake up because of the need to go to the bathroom. At first he wondered why he was sleeping in Ichigo's bed but then the memories last of last night's events came back to him. He smiled and tried to get up without waking the sleeping teen next to him. After he managed to do that Renji walked into the bathroom.

Soon he returned but now he stopped to look at his boyfriend.

Ichigo looked beautiful when he was sleeping surrounded by the white sheets. The shirt Ichigo was wearing (a plain white one that was too big since it was Renji's) had slipped down a little, exposing a smooth, pale shoulder.

'He's so beautiful, almost angelic.' Renji thought knowing that Ichigo would most likely protest if he'd heard him think that.

Ichigo moved and tried to pull Renji closer but when his hands found nothing he started to wake up.

"Ren?" he asked sleepily, his eyes clearly showing that he was pretty much half asleep.

"Yeah, I'm here. Had ta go to the bathroom."

"'kay. Come 'ere, it's cold without you."

"Am I yer bed warmer?" Renji asked, smiling at how cute his boyfriend was.

"Nah, but come here anyway."

"Okay baby, I'm coming."

As soon as Renji had slipped back under the covers Ichigo moved into his arms.

Renji chuckled. "Ya really like ta be held, don'tcha?"

"By you? Yea, I do. Makes me feel safe." Ichigo's voice was muffled against Renji's chest.

"Safe? Do ya feel like ya need to be protected from somethin'? 'cos if ya do I'll be more than happy ta help."

"No, not from anything concrete at least."

"What about somethin' abstract?"

"My dreams. They won't come as long as I'm held by you." came the muffled answer.

"Don't worry Ichi; you'll get over 'em. And I'll gladly hold ya until ya do. Wanna get some more sleep or do ya wanna talk some more?"

"Sleep, 'm still tired."

"Then sleep."


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's part four finally. It took longer than I thought to type it but here ya go. Enjoy.**

Time passed and Ichigo and Renji continued to grow closer. They always slept together and they had went from just kissing to groping and caressing each other. Ichigo had a newfound fascination with Renji's tattoos and hair. He often expressed it by playing with the red strands and tracing the tattoos with his fingers or his tongue. Besides Ichigo showing his affection Renji liked to hold and pet Ichigo in return which often led to them lying on the couch or on the bed caressing and holding each other.

Besides staying at home they sometimes went to Renji's ne favourite restaurant to see Kyoko, They also met Hitomi and Miho a few times when they went clubbing and sometimes they just walked around window shopping (and sometimes actually shopping). Renji usually met up with Orihime and the others when Ichigo was at work and that was exactly what he had decided to do today.

"…and after that Uryuu took me to this really nice restaurant." Orihime finished her re-telling of her last date with Ishida.

Renji was sitting with Orihime, Ishida, Chad, Tatsuki and Keigo around a table in a small and quiet café. Mizuiro was on a vacation to Hawaii so with his girlfriend so he couldn't join them.

"Sounds nice, maybe I should take my baby out on a date like that too." Renji mused.

"So you've gotten yourself a girlfriend?" Tatsuki asked.

"No, a boyfriend. He's really cute, beautiful, kind, smart…" Renji started to smile to himself but Ishida interrupted.

"We get it Abarai. Why don't you bring him along tomorrow when we go to the theatre? We would like to meet the guy who gets the great Abarai-taicho to smile to himself like an idiot."

"Great idea Uryuu!" Orihime said clapping her hands together in excitement.

"Really? Ya don't mind if I bring him along?"

"No, not at all." The others except Keigo assured.

"NOOO! AM I GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A DATE?!" Keigo shouted with anime-tears running down his face. "Orihime-chan has Ishida, Chad has Arisawa and even Renji has found someone." he continued dramatically.

"Hey, what do ya mean by 'even Renji'? Did ya think that no one would wanna date me?" Renji asked but he was completely ignored by Keigo.

"Shut up Keigo or you'll get us thrown out of here." Tatsuki said and punched Keigo in the face. "You still have time to ask someone if you don't want to go alone or then we can simply give your ticket to Renji's boyfriend if you'd prefer to stay at home with your sister."

"Ow, you're so mean Arisawa." Keigo cried while the others laughed (not in a mean way of course).

"Sorry but I gotta go now. Promised to pick my baby up from work today. See ya tomorrow then." Renji said and stood up.

"How cute!" Orihime squealed. "Bye then Renji-kun!"

**~in the library~**

"… and they lived happily ever after. The end." Ichigo finished the story he had been reading for a group of kids.

"Onii-san, you have found someone who makes you happy like the princess did, haven't you?" a little girl asked.

Ichigo was surprised but answered anyway. "Yeah I have. How did you know?"

"You smile more and you read more love stories than before." another girl said.

"Oh? I guess I do smile more but the stories have nothing to do with it because it's you who choose what I read for you."

"Ooops, I forgot that. But what kind of person is she?" the same girl said giggling.

"Actually my special person isn't a she, it's a he."

"So you're gay?" one of the boys asked.

"Well, yeah. Does it bother you?" Ichigo asked in return.

"No, my mom says you should accept people the way they are even if they're different from yourself."

"That's good to hear and I think your mom is right. You shouldn't bully people because they're different. My mom used to say the same thing to me too."

"What is he like?" another boy asked.

"And what does he look like?" a girl piped up.

"Why do you wanna know?" Ichigo asked.

"So we can decide if he's good enough for our Onii-san of course." the kids said in chorus.

"Okay then." Ichigo said smiling at the kids. "He's…loud, likes to joke and tease people in a friendly way, kind gentle but he can be serious if needed. He's tall, muscular, he has long, beautiful red hair and tattoos all over his body and he often wears a bandana and cool sunglasses."

"Just like that guy behind you?"

"Yeah, just like him." Ichigo said after throwing a quick glance over his shoulder. "Wait a minute! Renji?" he said and turned around completely.

"Yo! How's it going Berry-chan?" the said redhead asked grinning widely.

"Don't call me that, at least not in public."

"Onii-san, is _that_ your boyfriend?" the kids asked in unison.

"Yep, that's him." Ichigo said and turned back around in his chair.

"Nice ta meet ya, I'm Abarai Renji, the boyfriend of your lovely storyteller." Renji said still grinning as he wrapped his arms around Ichigo's shoulders from behind.

"Nice to meet you too Renji-nii."

"Are you going to get married like the prince and princess in the fairytale?" one of the youngest kids asked.

"Now that's an interesting idea." Renji said, an idea clearly forming in his head. "Ichi would be dressed in a beautiful, white dress an' I'd take him to a church, put a pretty ring on his finger an' then I'd carry him like this (Ichigo yelped when Renji suddenly picked him up bridal style) out of there to a carriage pulled by six white horses that would take us…somewhere for our honeymoon."

"You forgot something, Renji-nii." one of the boys pointed out.

"I did?"

"The kiss." a girl continued. "You're supposed to kiss the bride after you both have said 'I do'"

"How could I forget something like that?"

"Don't worry, you can kiss him now."

"Yeah, kiss him, kiss him!" the kids chanted.

"Do ya mind if I do?" Renji asked the man in his arms.

"No but remember that they're kids."

"Of course baby."

The kiss was short and sweet without tongue but the kids cheered loudly.

"Shhh, quiet. We're still in a library." Ichigo said after breaking the kiss.

"Hai!"

"And you can put me down now when you're finished with your demonstration."

"Nah, I kinda like this." Renji smirked and sat down on Ichigo's chair with the said teen in his arms.

"Stupid idiot."

"Now now. Remember the kids Ichi."

"Can you read one more story for us Onii-san?"

"Why don't you ask Renji to read one?" Ichigo suggested.

"Would you do that Renji-nii?"

"Okay but I'm not very good at reading aloud. What do ya want me ta read?"

"This one." A boy handed him a book and then all the kids sat down comfortably on their pillows on the floor.

The story was about a knight who faced a dragon to save a princess from a tower in order to get permission to marry her. Ironically Ichigo dosed off in the beginning of the story and he had a dream about the same storyline as the fairytale but with Renji as the knight and himself as the princess.

"Ichi. Ichi, wake up." Ichigo woke up to Renji calling his name.

"Hmm, I'm awake."

"Did ya even hear what the story was about?"

"A knight who fought a dragon in order to save and marry a princess?"

"So ya heard somethin' after all."

"No, I guess you voice affected my dream so I had a dream with the same plot."

"Except that Renji-nii was the knight and you were the princess?" a small girl asked.

"What? How did you know?" Ichigo asked surprised and blushing.

"I didn't, it was just a guess." the girl giggled. "Onii-san wants to be Renji-nii's princess. That's cute." She continued to giggle and soon the whole group was laughing except for Ichigo who had buried his face in Renji's chest while blushing almost the same color as his boyfriend's hair.

"Aww, don't be embarrassed. There's nothin' wrong with wanting to be protected an' taken care of by somebody else, especially after everythin' ya've been through in the past."

"Shut up, it's got nothing to do what I want, it was a dream." Ichigo said but he wasn't angry because, in fact, it had everything to do with what he wanted. He wanted Renji to take care of him, protect him from his nightmares and most importantly, love him. "Oh, it's six o'clock, your parents should be here to pick you up anytime now. Put the pillows back where they belong and then you can go. Put me down now Renji, I have things to do before I close the library."

"Hai, hai baby."

"Onii-san?"

"Yeah?"

"We totally approve of your boyfriend. Take good care of Onii-san Renji-nii." the kids said.

"That's good ta hear."

They all went to the front door and one by one the kids left with their parents. The last one to leave was a little girl but before she left she handed Renji a paper.

"This is for both of you. Bye, bye Renji-nii and Onii-san." and then she ran to her mom.

Renji looked at the paper while Ichigo waved to the girl.

"Hey look at this." Renji said and handed Ichigo the paper. It was a picture of them both outside a church and Ichigo was wearing a wedding dress. "She's pretty good isn't she?"

"Yeah, but why am I the bride?"

"'cos you're the more beautiful one of us." Renji whispered in Ichigo's ear as he sneaked his arms around the said male's waist.

"I'm…mmm…not beautiful." Ichigo hummed when Renji sucked softly at his neck.

"Yes you are." Renji said and spun Ichigo around only to press him against the wall and kiss him passionately. Luckily there was no one around to see them. "Wanted ta do that the moment I saw ya but I couldn't because of the kids or ya would've kicked my ass."

"Let's go before someone comes to complain about us making out in public. I'll get my things and lock the doors, and then we can go home." Ichigo said slightly flushed.

"Sounds good."

**~later~**

Ichigo woke up sweating and breathing hard from another nightmare. He had told Renji that needed to study a little so Renji was in the living room watching TV but apparently he had fallen asleep while reading. Now he didn't feel like studying or being alone so he got up and went to Renji instead.

"What's up, ya done now or taking a break?" Renji asked when Ichigo sat down next to him but when Ichigo laid down with his head in Renji's lap he could clearly feel from the other's reiatsu that something was bothering him.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked and wrapped one arm around the other's chest and stroked his hair with the other.

"I fell asleep." Ichigo mumbled and intertwined their fingers and pulled their hands close to his heart. An outsider wouldn't have understood his answer but Renji knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Which one was it?"

"The one with Rukia."

"'kay. Remember what I've told you; it wasn't your fault, you were busy with taking care of Aizen, there was no way you could've saved her."

"Yeah."

"Would ya like ta come with me an' the others to the theater tomorrow? They would like to meet 'the guy who gets the great Abarai-taicho to smile like an' idiot to himself' as Ishida put it." Renji asked to change the subject.

"You told them we're dating?"

"No, they don't know it's you, just that I'm dating a guy. Will ya come then?"

"Do you want me to come?"

"Of course I do! Why would I ask you to if I didn't?"

"Sorry, I'll come then."

"Good, the others will be happy ta see ya. They've been really worried about ya."

They sat/laid in silence on the couch until Ichigo spoke up.

"Ren?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I…can I come to Soul Society with you when you leave?"

"Sure. Ya can come an' visit anytime ya want an' I'll try ta come here too."

"No I didn't mean like visit but permanently."

"Permanently? Ya wanna come an' live in Soul Society?"

"It's okay if you don't want someone like me to be around you all the time. I just don't know what I'd do when you wouldn't be here." Ichigo said sadly.

"No! That's not it; ya just surprised me by asking that." Renji said quickly and pulled Ichigo into sitting position in his lap. "Heck, I'd love to have ya with me in Soul Society if that's what ya truly want. And don't say 'a person like me'; you're the most amazing and beautiful person I know." he continued while hugging Ichigo tightly.

"You mean that?"

Renji replied by kissing him passionately.

"Does that answer it?"

"Hmm."

"Good. I love ya an' if ya still wanna come when it's time fer me ta go back I'll be more than happy ta take ya with me."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Wanna go an' sleep now or do somethin' else?"

"I'm comfortable here and I know you wanna watch that movie, let's just stay here."

"Good choice baby."

Renji enjoyed holding Ichigo close and his boyfriend seemed to enjoy being held as well so he did it whenever it was possible. Eventually Ichigo fell asleep in his arms once again so when the movie was over Renji carried the love of his life back to bed.

**~next evening in front of the theater~**

"Renji-kun should be here any minute now." Orihime chirped. "Look there he is!" She was practically jumping on the spot. "Over here Renji-kun!"

"Hey Orihime! Hyper as always." Renji said.

"Weren't you supposed to bring your boyfriend along?" Ishida asked.

"Don't worry, he's right here." Renji answered and stepped aside so they could see Ichigo who was standing behind him.

"Kurosaki?" Ishida said surprised.

"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime said nearly as surprised as her boyfriend.

"Um…hi?" Ichigo said nervously.

"ICHIGOOO~" Keigo shouted and tried to hug him but Ichigo punched him more out of reflex than anything else.

"Sorry Keigo, you okay?" he asked.

"Who are you? Ichigo never apologizes to me."

"People change."

"Ichigo." a voice said from his side and he turned around to see Tatsuki walking towards him.

"Tatsuki."

"You idiot, have you any idea of how worried we have been!!! You mad Orihime cry when you pushed all of us away when we tried to help!!!" she shouted and punched him in the jaw. Ichigo stumbled backwards and Tatsuki continued he rant: "You could at least have said that…" she stopped when she saw the terrified look in the eyes of her childhood friend. "What's wrong, did I scare you that badly?"

"No, I think he's having another flashback about the war. He always gets that look when he is having one, yer punch must've triggered it. Oi! Snap out of it Ichi!" Renji said and shook Ichigo lightly.

"I…I'm fine Ren, just a bad memory." Ichigo said shakily.

"I'm so sorry Ichigo. If I'd known that was going to happen I wouldn't have punched you." Tatsuki said and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay, there's no way you could've known it." he assured her and hugged her back.

"We should go now, the play starts in ten minutes." Ishida said wrapping his arm around Orihime's shoulders.

"He's right." Tatsuki said, pulled back and went back to Chad.

"Let's go then!" Renji said and pulled Ichigo close by his shoulders.

**~one day before Renji's leave ends~**

*giggle*"Stop doing that Ren, it tickles." Ichigo giggled when his boyfriend covered his sides in butterfly-kisses.

"Oh I know ya don't really mean that so I think I'm gonna keep on doing this. Or maybe I'll do this instead." the redhead said and started to tickle the bright-haired teen laying under him.

"Hahaha…s-stop it…hahaha…Renji…hahaha." Ichigo laughed so hard that tears started to form in his eyes.

"Ya know what to say." Renji grinned.

"Hahaha…please I…hahaha…surrender…hahaha."

"Good boy." Renji said and laid down next to his boyfriend who was trying to catch his breath.

"That…wasn't fun at all." Ichigo said still breathing hard.

"Yes it was judging from the way ya laughed just now." Renji countered and tried to kiss Ichigo.

"No it wasn't." Ichigo retorted and turned his head away.

"C'mon baby."

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"Well maybe a little."

"Ya know I only do it 'cos I love ta hear ya laugh."

"And to touch me." Ichigo added and turned to look at his boyfriend again.

"That too even when I don't need an excuse ta touch ya, ya enjoy it. Can I kiss ya now?"

"What's the magic word?"

"Please."

"Go ahead."

As soon as the words left Ichigo's mouth Renji pulled him close and started kissing him. In return Ichigo wrapped his arms around Renji's neck and moaned into the kiss. Renji's lips curled into a smile; he loved being able to do this to Ichigo so he swept his tongue over Ichigo's lips and pulled his hips closer by swinging a leg over the teen's and pulling, causing Ichigo to part his lips and moan louder. Renji slipped his tongue inside the hot cavern and explored the now familiar territory once again before he coaxed the other's tongue to a sensual dance.

After several minutes of making out they had to break apart in order to breathe properly.

"I love you." Renji breathed out.

"I love you too." Ichigo whispered.

"I have ta leave tomorrow; do ya still wanna come with me ta Soul Society?" Renji asked while stroking Ichigo's cheek with his thumb.

"Hai." Ichigo replied without hesitation.

"Then we should go an' see Urahara today. After breakfast of course." he smiled.

"Hmm. But I wanna stay here like this for a little while longer."

"Sure, if that's what ya want baby."

"Yeah."

**~later at the Urahara sho****ten~**

"Urahara-san?!" Renji shouted into the seemingly empty shop much like that one day almost three months ago.

"Abarai-taicho! How can I help you, I thought you weren't leaving until tomorrow. Ah! Kurosaki-san! Nice to see you again." the shopkeeper said.

"Urahara-san, we need your help with something."

"I see. Come in so we can discuss this over some tee."

They followed Urahara into the back of the shop where he served them some tee.

"So, what do you need help with?"

"Do you know a way to make a soul retain its memories when the body dies?" Renji asked.

"Does this have something to do with Kurosaki-san?" Urahara asked in return.

"Yeah, he wants…"

"I want to move to Soul Society with Renji." Ichigo interrupted.

"Oh? Yes, there is indeed a way. I assume you would like to leave tomorrow with Abarai-san?"

"If that's possible, yes."

"Then I'll prepare the things we need for tomorrow."

"Arigato Urahara-san." Ichigo said and bowed.

"No need to thank me, I'm glad to help you. How have you been since we last met?"

"It depends. At first I wasn't doing very well but now I'm fine thanks to Renji." he said and squeezed Renji's hand.

"I see." Urahara said smiling behind his fan when he noticed how close the two men in front of him were sitting. "Then I'll see you tomorrow Abarai-san, Kurosaki-san. I'll be ready around 7PM."

"Arigato gozaimasu Urahara-san." they both said and bowed.

"Go now; I'm sure you have a lot of things to do before you leave tomorrow."

"Hai!" they said and left hand in hand.

"That went smoothly." Renji stated once they were outside.

"Yeah, but he's right that there are thing we need to take care of: I need to tell my landlord that I'm moving out and pack my things."

"We probably can't take all of yer things with us tomorrow when it's just the two of us but we can come back an' get 'em later with some friends." Renji pointed out.

"True, even though I'm not planning on taking a lot of thing with me, just some clothes, books and my drawing stuff."

"Hmm, let's worry about that tomorrow. What are ya going to do about yer job?"

"I'll have to quit it, don't I? Why don't we go and take care of that right now, it's not far from here."

"Sure if that means I'll have you all to myself t'night."

"You always have me all to yourself during the evenings." Ichigo pointed out.

"And nights." Renji added with a grin.

"And mornings. Actually you have me all to yourself for the bigger part of the day every day."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way." the redhead said and pulled the younger man into a hug. "I love ya." he whispered in the other's ear.

"I love you too. Let's go now."

"Yes my love."

**~next day around 7PM~**

Ichigo had arranged everything for his moving: he had told the landlord he was moving who had been kind enough to let him keep his things there until he had settled in in his new home as long as it happened within a week. He had also quit his job at the library and the kids had been sad that their favourite story reader was leaving but luckily the employer said that he could come and read for them whenever he was visiting Karakura Town. They had said goodbye to their friend earlier that day and now they were on their way to Urahara shoten.

"There you are. Are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this? There's no going back once it's done." Urahara asked when they arrived.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Come on in then. Everything's ready in the backroom.

They followed the shopkeeper through the doors to the right room.

"Here, eat this." Urahara said and held out a small, disgusting-looking, green pill.

"Will that…?" Ichigo asked suspiciously but took the pill anyway.

"Make sure your memories will stay with you? Yes." Urahara smiled behind his fan.

"Okay. Here I go then." Ichigo said and swallowed the pill.

"Now we'll have to wait for the pill to start working before we kill you." Urahara said like it was the most normal thing.

"Kill him?" Renji asked. "Do we have ta kill him?"

"Yes, else he wouldn't be able to go to Soul Society permanently. But don't worry; I have a painless way of doing it and after that I just have to change the information about Kurosaki-san like we do when a shinigami needs to blend in so that no on will think he's gone missing or something like that."

"Okay. How long do we have tan wait?"

"Ten more minutes should be enough. Go ahead and sit down if you want."

"Sure. Com'ere baby." Renji said sitting down and motioning Ichigo to come and sit between his legs.

"I assume you two are in love judging from your behaviour."

"Yeah, I love Ren more than anything in the whole world."

"Thanks baby, I love you just as much if not more."

"I can clearly see why you want to move in together." Urahara smiled while fanning himself.

They sat there chatting about random things until Urahara said it had been long enough and handed Ichigo another pill, a black one this time.

"This is a special kind of poison that doesn't affect the soul nor does it cause any pain. It might cause some nausea but it'll go away within a few hours and you'll probably feel tired and weak as well. I'll leave you alone until the process is complete so, Abarai-san let me know when he's a shinigami.

"Of course."

Ichigo swallowed the pill when Urahara left the room. At first he didn't feel anything but after a few minutes he started to feel drowsy and a little dizzy.

"Ya okay?" Renji asked

"Just tired and a little dizzy, nothing serious." he mumbled back.

"Lay down baby." Renji said and moved his boyfriend so that he was lying in his lap. "Comfortable?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Renji started to stroke the bright strands on his boyfriend's head and Ichigo almost purred in contentment.

"Ichi?" Renji asked after a while.

"Hmm?" Ichigo answered almost asleep.

"I know this might not be the best time to ask this but; will you marry me?"

"Is that possible in Soul Society?"

"Yeah."

"In that case; yes I will."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I love you baby." Renji said to hi soon-to-be-'wife'."

"Hmm…love you too." Ichigo mumbled before falling asleep.

Renji watched as the human body in his arms started to transform into a spiritual body. After a few more minutes the transformation was complete and Renji called for Urahara.

"Urahara-san! I think it's done."

The shopkeeper came back in and knelt down to examine the sleeping teen.

"It was a success, he's completely fine, just tired. You can take him to Soul Society now."

"Okay, thanks for your help Urahara-san." Renji said, stood up, threw Ichigo's backpack over his shoulder and picked the sleeping teen up in his arms. "We'll be back in a few days to get the rest of Ichigo's things with a few friends. Bye for now."

"Bye but you don't have to come and get the things; I can have them sent to your quarters before tomorrow night."

"You can? I mean, you don't have to, you've done more than enough for us by turning Ichigo into a permanent shinigami." Renji said.

"Oh it wouldn't be much trouble at all. Do you want me to do it?"

"Only if it really isn't a bother for you."

"Then I'll do it."

"Arigato gozaimasu." Renji said and bowed slightly.

"Go now; I'm sure you're eager to get home. There's a gate waiting in the basement."

"Thank you again." Renji said once again before he left.

"No need to thank me. I promised Isshin to take help his children if something happened to him so that's what I'm gonna do." Urahara said to himself after Renji had left. "Now, time for some tee I think."

**~in Soul Society~**

"Hey! Renji! You're back!" a voice shouted from behind Renji after he had stepped out through the gate.

"Hey Ikkaku, Yumichika." Renji greeted his friends after turning around.

"What happened to Ichigo? Is he hurt?" Yumichika asked when he saw the teen laying in Renji's arms.

"Nah, he's just asleep."

"Then why is he sleeping in your arms?" Ikkaku asked.

"He's tired and my boyfriend."

"How beautiful! Renji has found love." Yumichika squealed.

"So why is he here?"

"He's a permanent shinigami now."

"Ichigo…died?" the two friend said in disbelief.

"No, I mean yes but of his own free will, not in an attack or an accident or anything like that. Urahara helped us." Renji explained.

"He chose to die just to be with you. How beautiful!"

"Yeah, that's how he is. I would die fer him too if I had ta but I'd prefer not to 'cos it would make him sad an' depressed and that's something I don't want ta happen. He's much more beautiful when he smiles." Renji said while staring at Ichigo's face.

"Okay we get it, you're in love. Go an' take yer sleeping beauty home. We can talk tomorrow."

"Yea, yea. See ya tomorrow."

"Bye Renji." Yumichika said.

'Finally home.' Renji thought when he stepped in through the door to his quarters. 'And I have my Ichi with me. My lovely Ichi whom I'm going to marry as soon as possible and make sure he'll never be unhappy again.'

**~two weeks later~**

Ichigo was lying in a big, fluffy bed wrapped in his lover's arms after their wedding party in the Kuchiki-mansion. Kuchiki Byakuya had offered to let them have the party and the ceremony there and as a wedding gift they had gotten permission to use the Kuchiki-summerhouse outside Seireitei during their honeymoon. Byakuya explanation to why he did it was that Rukia would have wanted it but Renji thought that he just wanted to be nice.

The wedding itself had been amazing. Everyone they knew had been there, including their friend from the real world. Orihime had been his bridesmaid and Hisagi Shuuhei had been Renji's bestman. Renji had been wearing a white suit with his hair in a braid and he himself had been wearing a beautiful, white wedding dress designed and made by Ishida and a veil covering his face until Renji had gotten permission to kiss the bride. All their friends had said that he looked absolutely stunning which of course made him blush but it was nothing compared to how he blushed when Renji told him that he was the most beautiful person in the whole world right in front of _all_ the guests. The guests had laughed while he turned a hundred shades of red.

The rest of the night they had danced, eaten and played some games until everyone had to home because they had work the next day. Then Renji had picked him up bridal style and shunpoed them to the summerhouse while the guests cheered. Renji hadn't put him down until they were alone in one of the big bedrooms. There he had put him down just to kiss him passionately. "I love you my beautiful wife." his husband had whispered.

"I love you too." he had whispered back while reaching for the zipper to his dress and pulling it down. He had let the dress fall to the floor, stepped out of it and kissed the man he loved more than anything.

"Do ya wan to…?" Renji had asked and he just nodded in response. "Ya sure?"

"Yes."

So it had started. They had gotten rid of the rest of their clothes and Renji had made sweet love to him. Now they were lying tangled together under the covers and Ichigo was happy that Renji had stopped him that one night from making the biggest mistake of his life. The fiery redhead had made him realize that there were still things worth living for and given him a second chance, a new life.

**Thanks to everyone who read this and reviewed. It was fun to write it.**


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